Just a quick post. Sorry I’ve not been around, I was super ill.
Throwing up saturday night through sunday and then cripplingly nauseous (as in standing/sitting up = feeling like I was gonna hurl) monday & tuesday with interesting stabbing pains in my chest and stomach and aches all over. Wednesday I was betterish, still a bit nauseous mostly just very achey and by the evening the pain was almost reducing me to tears. Today I am much better and finally got in for lectures. I hate being ill, I handle the throwing up and the pain (to an extent) better than the nausea though. Can’t handle nausea at all.
Today hasn’t been the best of days, its not ED related. Just one of those days. I’ve hardly stopped crying all day, not 100% sure why, weird things are setting me off. Just everything seems overwhealming and hopeless. And annoyingly, it’s not even something I can blame on hormones at the present time ><. My internet was broken all day on my old laptop (the one I know my way around better with all my bookmarks and stuff 😥 ) just when I needed it most, and it’s still iffy I think. I’m on the new one right now. Oh and my personal tutor made a comment that I didn’t like – he was explaining heat capacities using people and the comment “even though Woijech probably weighs half again what Katie weighs”. Not. Happy.
On top of that because I missed another lab session – I tried to go in, nearly threw up on the floor and had to apologise and leave – and it’s so far unauthorised and won’t be until Monday when I can get the lab supervisor to authorise it, and somehow I’ve missed two tutorials I’m in trouble and have to go see the head of undergraduate teaching. I know I missed one tutorial because I was ill (own fault…) but I don’t know when/how I missed the other. I don’t know, I’m really stressed out over it all now and I have no real excuse. I don’t know what to do. I don’t really want to be here, I’m unhappy. But who’s to say I wouldn’t be more unhappy somewhere else, who’s to say somewhere else would even have me if I got in. I don’t know what to do.