Category Archives: On A Different Note

A Day To Remember <3

*ahem*

For those of you who weren’t aware (so no one really), last night I went to see a band by the name of A Day To Remember. It was part of my Christmas present from Chris and I’ve been looking forwards to it since Christmas :D. There shall be picture spam :p

It was AMAZING! I spent all day totally hyper, grinning like a lunatic when I walked past the academy and the tour buses were outside, and generally annoying my flatmates by playing all three albums on repeat all day when I wasn’t in lectures. The support acts I’d never heard of but they were okay, the first one, Your Demise, was actually playing by the time we got in – seeing as I live so close we left a few minutes after the doors opened to avoid standing in a huge queue, there was still a pretty long queue when we got there (right past the SU) but it was moving so all was well. πŸ™‚

During the support acts we managed to get into a space around the side, which was alright at first because there was plenty of breathing room. Then when the second support act, Architects, came on a good number of people moved forwards and it got a bit crowded, which I didn’t like especially seeing as I didn’t know the songs and had nothing really to distract me from the presence of so many people and the fact that I was scared of being either headbutted or stood on by a large bald man in front of me ><. Also I couldn’t see. I swear I’m too short for the kinds of gigs I like, they’re always full of 20-something year old men who tower over me. But at least it meant there weren’t a tonne of pretentious 14 year old scene kids giving people dirty looks and randomly pushing you because it makes them think they started a mosh pit. Not that I’m bitter or judgemental :P.

Anyway, between Architects and A Day To Remember I tried to go to the merch booth to get a teeshirt. Well, first we went to go buy drinks, which meant getting very crushed up against a tonne of people and bleh, didn’t like it. I have to say the ADTR merch guy was a bit crap, there were three or four people standing at the barrier wanting to buy things and he was just talking to merch guy for the Architects and ignoring everyone which I thought was a bit daft, especially as between bands is when a lot of people buy merch. Anyway, eventually Chris got served and I went to go buy something but another girl came over and waved at the merch guy and he started talking to her. I assume she was someone important obviously but still, grr. When I turned around to talk to Chris he had vanished, he said he told me he was leaving but gigs are so loud even when no one is on and he didn’t yell it down my ear so I didn’t hear. I couldn’t see him and I got really freaked out, by the time he got back the band were coming on so I just left it. To be honest I was a bit upset :(.

A Day To Remember themselves were brilliant, they played several of the songs I wanted them to play, including my two favourite ever songs – one of which is from their first album and I didn’t think they’d bother with. I was so excited. I’ve proper wrecked my voice from singing/shouting/screaming so much. I think I may have scared the people behind me when a couple of songs came on because I got really overexcited πŸ˜€ hehe. I never managed to go in the mosh pit, even though I really wanted to :(. It was my own fault, I brought a bag with me to carry everything in and I know full well that I can’t go in a mosh pit with a bag on, especially not the one I took – it’s too easy for it to fall off or someone to catch it by accident and either pull me over or choke me. I’m annoyed at myself for that, I really like mosh pits. It seems strange because I hate being in the crush in the middle of the crowd, I can’t breathe, I’ll only do it if I’m on teh barrier or 1-2 rows back from it. But in a mosh pit I can breathe, despite the running and being thrown around, because there’s space. Everyone steers clear of the mosh πŸ˜‰

The songs they played were, in their main set: (in no particular order) Mr Highway’s Thinking About The End, Homesick, Have Faith In Me, Speak Of The Devil, The Danger In Starting A Fire, Over My Head (Cable Car) [it’s a cover heh], You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance [<3!] and Heartless. And in their encore they played The Downfall Of Us All and The Plot To Bomb The Panhandle ❀ πŸ˜€

I did get a shirt in the end, after the encore. Although I had to get a guy’s shirt because Chris bought the guy’s version of the only design that they had in girlyfit and I’d feel a bit weird getting the same shirt as him. Like we’d copied or something. Ah well, my shirt has Pinky&The Brain (his has Pacman) so we’re both proper cool. I didn’t hang around afterwards to try and meet the band either, I asked Chris whether we were going to hang about afterwards but he didn’t know why we would so I left it. He was knackered and I felt bad, so we went back to the flat. I was awake until 4-5am, and woke up at 7:30. Bad times!

Anyway, the afforementioned picture spam…

Pre Gig Fuel: Chicken, Cheese and Salad sammich, Yogurt and radioactive cheap energy drink

Me looking insanely happy :P. Contacts ftw where gigs are concerned.

My Teeshirt: Front & Back

Album: “For Those Who Have Heart” (2007)

1. Fast Forward To 2012
2. Speak Of The Devil
3. The Danger In Starting A Fire
4. The Plot To Bomb The Panhandle
5. Monument
6. The Price We Pay
7. Colder Than My Heart If You Can Imagine
8. Show ’em The Ropes
9. A Shot In The Dark
10. Here’s To The Past
11. I Heard It’s The Softest Thing Ever
12. Start The Shooting

Album: “And Their Name Was Treason” (2005)

1. Intro
2. Heartless
3. Your Way With Words Is Through Silence
4. A Second Glance
5. Casablanca Sucked Anyway
6. You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance
7. If Looks Could Kill
8. You Had Me At Hello
9. 1958
10. Sound The Alarm

Other songs:
Breathe Hope In Me
Heartless / Re-recorded Version from “For Those Who Have Heart” Re-issue
Last Request
Over My Head (Cable Car) / from “Punk Goes Pop 2” Compilation
Right Where You Want Me To Be
Since U Been Gone / from “For Those Who Have Heart” Re-issue
When 3’s A Crowd
Why Walk On Water, When We’ve Got Boats / from “For Those Who Have Heart” Re-issue

πŸ˜€
Now I need to go hand in my lab report and tutorial work. I’ll update again later in the week with how my appt goes today πŸ™‚

Trying?

If actions spoke louder than words, you’d have made me deaf by now
You make it seem so easy to love me for who I really am, am.

It’d break my heart, if we fell apart.
It’d be so hard to let you go
It’d break my heart, if we fell apart.
It’d be so hard to watch you go

So let’s not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)
So let’s not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)

It’s so crazy how it’d make my week just to hear them mention your name
Is it so hard to understand how you’ve got me right in the palm of your hand?

Your Way With Words Is Through Silence – A Day To Remember (click)

On Thursday (March 11th) I’m seeing them live with Chris as part of my Christmas present :p. I am so excited it is unreal! If I don’t come out of this gig with bruises I did something wrong though haha.

Anyhoo, aside from the occasional excitement in my life things have been up and down. I was doing alright this week for a while, not as awesome on the self care as I should have been and there were a couple of total freak out moments which were really bad but there were plenty of good moments too. I went to most of my lectures, which is good for me this semester (I’m pretty ashamed how much I’ve let myself slip) and I did all the notes and my lab report and coshh form so I’m up to date on my work for the most part minus notes from Friday. I’ve also been doing better with thoughts and stuff. When I gained a little on Thursday I managed to not freak out and still ate things, I even cooked fish in the kitchen. And I tried to have breakfast on Friday, ended up being brunch at 11 because I overslept but oh well. I still had lunch and eat just at later times.

The appointment went okay. I’m officially going to have my eating disorder services referral go through on Monday, he had to weigh me and measure my height to get my BMI first. I told him I was scared because I was wearing clothes and on my period and I knew it would be heavier than it should but he was really nice about it and let me get weighed backwards so I didn’t see what it was. So that’s that for now. And I am trying to do better with eating, pushing myself but not too hard and yeah, trying. But at the same time I have that little voice in my head saying that if I try and if I start doing a little better then they won’t see me any more because I won’t be ill any more. I know in my heart it’s not true but it makes things hard sometimes y’know?

Friday ended badly. I b/ped really late (11:30-12:00), not 100% sure why. I think being at home and up late did it, weird trigger but oh well. For some reason my tea came up then, that’s a good five-six hours later. It really freaked me out and made me really mad at myself because I was so determined to keep my tea down. I know I shouldn’t have purged at all but eurgh. I’m trying not to let it set me back though, having a small freak out about burgers because I had to get the non-light choice so my sister would eat it but I’m determined to make it through.

Trying to stay positive.

Rut

I appear to be stuck. I am (not so) suddenly incapable of eating breakfast… this has been going on for a while now and it’s causing all kinds of knock on problems. I’m struggling with getting to late morning lectures because I’m hungry and exhausted and blargh and it’s making labs even harder because as well as being not particularly enthusiastic or happy to be there, I’m hungry and lacking energy. I did try to have breakfast a few times, the breakfast itself was alright, the after-effects not so much. I felt like I’d binged and eaten way too much, which isn’t fact but the emotion was overwhelming, this either lead to me struggling to eat later in the day or just flat out binging. Neither are good. I know there’s a way to work around this but I’m not sure how, I guess I’ll probably just have to do it with a meal plan of sorts and just fight through the emotions. I just don’t want to 😦

In the same vein I keep getting into food ruts. It’s totally disordered but honestly boring. A few weeks ago it was just protein based food, lots of just cold deli meat out of the packet. More recently it was yogurt, and a couple of days of yogurt with fruit. The theme of this week appears to be sandwiches. Don’t get me wrong, sandwiches is a good thing. I went on a low-carb spazz and only recently got carbs back in my diet, now I seem to be overloading… four slices of bread a day can’t be good for me. Wonder what the theme of the week next week will be, maybe I’ll cycle *sigh*. I really need to try and mix it up. It’s just the foods I can prepare (kitchen issues still going strong) and the foods I feel ‘safe’ eating are so limited, even when Chris is here we have the same sorts of things over and over (burger patties, chicken grills, fish pie, fish fingers…). I really really hope my referral is going through.

On side notes:
1. I drink waaaay too much squash. I’ve had like 4-5litre bottles of water (refilled two bottles frequently lol) and about a litre of squash today. It’s a really good thing I do get sugar-free/no-added-sugar/low calorie stuff when I’m having that amount!
2. Did I ever mention that I have a house for next year? If I did sorry for bringing it up again, I’m glad it’s sorted though.
3. Possible bragging ahead… you have been warned.

I got my exam results yesterday:
Introductory Chemistry (main Chem module): 59%.
Quantatative Chemistry (basically GCSE and basic A-Level maths): 84% – I should have done better there, I did the maths A level for chrissakes and got a B. Plus it was multiple choice. *facepalm*
Physics (<3): 61% – I wish I’d done better, but I’m really happy with my mark because it was hard.
Synthesis Labs: 45%
Measurements Labs: 69%
(Labs are ongoing, guess which I like better though? πŸ˜‰ )
Overall Average: 64% which is a 2:1

I don’t know how to feel. I knew if I’d done brilliantly (over 75-80%) I’d be happy with myself and maybe have more confidence in what I’m doing. If I’d done terribly I’d drop out and start again somewhere less research oriented and more student orientated – somewhere with a higher than 73% student satisfaction (we’re pretty far down the table) and with less lab hours, or at least less consecutive lab hours. I’d probably change degree course to something more physics/physical chemistry based. I like maffs 8) just don’t have a good enough set of grades or understanding to do well on a maths degree.
As it is I’m stuck in limbo, I don’t fully enjoy my course and i know it will get harder and I’ll struggle more. I doubt I put enough effort in as it is, I just don’t have my heart in it. We’re supposed to do 100hrs personal study on top of lectures for each of our modules, this semester that adds up to around 600-700 hours. Gives me about 10hrs of free time a day, if I don’t use any of my weekend (Saturday & Sunday) for university work.

I feel sick. My stomach has been iffy recently to be honest, I don’t know whether it’s something I’m eating (slight dairy intolerance?) or drinking (although it’s been three days since I last had alcohol, which usually does it for me). Also I gave up chocolate and sweets for lent (Chocolate does not cover hot chocolate because tbh I doubt options contains any real cocoa mass, and sweets doesn’t cover toffee ;). I have both rarely anyway, so it’s not a huge overlooking but I suck really). I made the mistake of googling “giving up chocolate for lent” and faced a lot of blog posts with a lot of venom over that, saying it’s a stupid idea and we should give up something proper like meat or dairy. I feel bad now, like I’m not doing lent well enough, but I didn’t want to restrict my already restricted diet any more and well, sweets and chocolate are some of my fre regular indulgences.

Also, this post by Vanilla asked a really interesting question that I said I’d answer here instead of in comments because the list is so long. What foods do I “not like” because the ED won’t let me like them, but really I find them tasty…
1. White pasta and rice – this is more recent after my lowcarb sillyness, but yeah.
2. Potatoes – I love potatoes, but again with the carb thing. They scare me now.
3. Deep pan pizza – this is an iffy one, I do kind of like it a bit (mmm, dough) but I think I do genuinely prefer thin and crispy.
4. Chocolate Cake – never tell anyone about this… I am still adamant I won’t eat it with my family >.>
5. Supernoodles – calories 😦 The buggers are cheap too.

What’s sad is I’m sure I can think of more. Brain is currently fried, several nights of falling asleep late, waking up several times during the night then waking for good around 8-8:30 am (thanks cleaners this morning, I was finally getting good sleep!) has killed me.

Hopefully I’ll update again soonish. I’m going to try for once a month or so πŸ™‚
Muchlove<3

Good Day

Today will be a good day. This weekend will be a good weekend, even if I have to fight every second of the way to make it like that. Today is mine and my boyfriends one year anniversary of dating *blush*. I know it seems like a silly thing to be making a big fuss of (or at least that’s what my mum tells me) especially when people usually celebrate marriage not dating, but just over a year ago I never thought anyone would ask me out ever. I figured I was too fat and ugly and too messed up to be asked out, hell even up until the point he actually asked me I never thought anyone would really be interested in me in more than a ‘quick bit of entertainment while I look for someone better’ kind of way.

A lot has changed since I met Chris. And I mean a lot. I’ve been to the doctors about my eating disorder, more than once. I made an attempt at starting recovery, relapsed and now I’m trying to start again. I have a referral to MH services and the ED services. I’ve become happier, slightly more confident, I can use trains and buses without freaking out too much, I’ve grown up and I have something to live for. I wouldn’t have ever done any of that without him, definitley not any of the recovery stuff. I’m not hinging my life on one person, even though I guess it seems like it sometimes, but this relationship has done amazing things for me and I can’t ignore that either. Those are just some of the few *points* πŸ™‚

In other news:
Manchester hasn’t emailed me back. There hasn’t even been a group e-mail to all students since I sent mine. It’s Thursday so I guess they aren’t doing anything – they’re very focused on fairtrade fortnight though.
I’m still bleh. Days are up and down but I couldn’t say I was doing well. I really don’t care about myself right now. I haven’t changed my top in too many days. Haven’t washed my hair or shaved in too many days. I’ve been missing lectures, which I never thought I’d do. I just don’t care enough about anything really. I’ve been trying to do work though, currently working on an Organic tutorial sheet for tomorrow and I’ve promised myself I’ll turn up to both afternoon lectures today and shower, wash my hair, shave, the works tonight. And I really hope Chris never reads that because I am so disgusted with myself right now.

Hope no one is reading this over a meal or anything, I’m so sorry if I’ve disgusted you with any of this and I don’t blame you if you stop reading altigether, I’m gross. Okay, off to finish working.

Awareness

It’s National Eating Disorder Awareness week this week πŸ˜€ is anyone doing anything?

I emailed the student union to tell them and ask if Manchester was doing anything, sadly no reply yet but there’s still time.
Valentines weekend was amazing πŸ™‚ I had a really nice time.
Since then I’ve been a bit down… very down actually, hence my not being here at all really.
I may have a referral to the ED services in Warrington now πŸ™‚ The guy from the MHT said he would try and get it sorted by my next appointment in two weeks (first week of March), so hopefully my referral will at least have been sent by then.

Had a kind of productive day today. Managed to get my lab report done and half tidied my room at least, which is more than usual. Currently chilling and watching meaningless telly πŸ™‚

Appointment Mark Two


Okay, so appointment first even if it’s the last thing I’ve done. It was, meh. Apparently he hasn’t referred me on to the ED team yet, I’ve been given homework of a “things I did and how much I enjoyed them” diary with what I ate that day stuck on the bottom, and to write down two or three bad thoughts I have about myself, when I had them and what they were. *sighs* The food diary thing is . It’s going to make me more restrictive next week I’m sure, I need to cover this weekend but I’m scared because it’s my birthday and Chris is here and no doubt I will have a little bit of cake and maybe eat more than I would alone. I’m going to write down calorie counts even though he didn’t ask me to, I need him to see what I’m eating because if I say salad with ham and egg me might assume more than the 150 calories it is. Still I don’t know. What if he thinks I’m eating more than enough, especially if I go up to 800 on one day or two or this weekend. It’s honestly scary.
Other than that the session was up and down. He asked me to describe myself and the words I came out with were not good. He focused on two, fat and stupid. He did a scale of stupidity and then said the fact that I might get a Chemistry degree meant I was cleverer than him (no way!) and that if I was stupid what was he. Which upset me, because I don’t think I’m nearly as clever as people think just because I do a science and regardless of discipline all degrees are equal (I’ll agree a degree from Oxford or Cambridge is better than one from say, Birmingham though. Or at least higher looked upon, idk whether it’s really better). And it made me feel like he thought I was calling him stupid, which I really wasn’t and upset me because now I think he must think I’m a horrible person.
Then he looked at fat. He asked about the fattest person I’d ever seen (those people on reality tv 2tonne shows), he didn’t ask about the skinniest just assumed it was models. Then he asked what models weigh, I told him statistically average around 117lbs and said it was just under 8 1/2 stone. Then he asked what I weigh (I said 9 stone, which is a lie) and put me right next to models on the scale! I wanted to argue, it makes no fucking sense, models are like 6ft I’m 5’5. I’m nowhere near them on a scale! Then he said am I two tonnes. No, I feel huge sometimes but I realise I’m not two tonnes. Apparently because I don’t need to be cut out of a house I’m not fat. I wanted to argue but I didn’t have the energy. Logically I can see I am not two tonnes and my BMI is not 45. However I feel fat, I see fat rolls all over me and find it hard to spot people who are bigger than me. But because I don’t think I’m morbidly obese maybe I don’t have a problem. idk.
He asked whether I’d made myself sick, I said I tried to but it didn’t happen. I didn’t mention the laxatives. He talked about the way I sat as well, I slump and hunch and look very sad and scared apparently. I need to sit more with my back straight. And I need to challenge negative thoughts and panic thoughts when I’m in a club or busy shop. I agreed to do that. So I have my homework for the week. Next appointment is the same time next week.

And on a totally unrelated but quite funny note. Some search terms people have found my blog via:
wetherspoons purple rain recipeWell I can’t say this is wetherspoons’ recipe (I’ve never had purple rain there!) but the basic purple rain recipe is vodka, peach schnapps, blue curaco and lemonade with grenadine poured over the top. It’s the mixture of the blue curaco from the bottom and red grenadine from the top that makes the pretty purple colour πŸ™‚ (hey, if this whole degree thing doesn’t work out I could so be a bartender!).
shattered facenoooo!
spooning my sister –Β  o.o, I don’t think that’s totally legal mate.
i smell some chicken up in hurr –Β  wonderfully random πŸ™‚
why wont webcam work on msn at keele?because Keele intranet is silly. However it’s an awesome university (y)

bowl of porridge 6
chemistry textbooks 5
wetherspoons purple rain recipe 4
ice cream dress 4
katie frank not otherwise specified 4
“not otherwise specified” blog 3
fuck chemistry 3
katiefranknos 3
spooning leads to forking david & goliat 2
old jamaica rum chocolate for sale 2
talking to gp about ednos 2
shattered face 2
halloween pitchers 2
interwebs 2
spooning leads to forking 2
open wardrobe in room 2
fruit flakes 2
physical chemistry textbooks 2
superdrug cherry coke 2
bubur oat dengan buah 2
ednos in college 1
cheese sammich 1
because otherwise 1
green blurry 1
adioski 1
spooning my sister 1
my hair is really thin when i straighten 1
all of the bournville chocolate 1
oatmeal porridge with raisins 1
carrot snacks 1
skittle nails 1
blurry words 1
ednos green 1
bournville chocolate bar 1
katie ednos 1
spooning someone 1
august 6 2009 ednos blog 1
ednos august 6 1
100 calorie meals ednos 1
if not specified otherwise 1
wafer oats 1
activia 1
sainsburys lemon cupcake calories 1
blurry face 1
asda ice cream dress 1
i smell some chicken up in hurr 1
why wont webcam work on msn at keele? 1
calorific used in a sentance 1
овСс 1
ready brek porrage

The Appointment


“The appointment was less terrifying than I thought. The guy was from the mental health team and he seemed really nice. It was just assessment stuff today, I told him about my past and present and he took a lot of notes. He said I have moderate depression, which I don’t believe, I think it’s just that I’m so fat and that makes my life suck. He seemed to focus on my purging, more than my not eating much. Well, I eat too much, but not by government standards. I don’t purge that much though. Maybe it was because I was puffy and bloodshot ect from purging last night. I think it was because he didn’t believe me. I tried to tell him I struggle with more than 500 calories most days and only puke or take laxatives if I’ve eaten too much like when I snap or have to go out for a meal. But I also mentioned that I don’t (generally) purge at someone else’s house or a resturant, that I’d rather just take laxatives or purge when I come home. He brought up excercising and I told him I didn’t really excercise lots, but I do have to be active and I don’t like to just sit around when I’ve eaten or will be eating. Then he asked why I don’t excercise a lot and I felt like a huge failure. Clearly no eating disorder if I don’t over excercise all the time. Then he brought up that I said I don’t eat much but I also said I drink and that alcohol is lots and lots of calories. I told him that I usually puke what I drink, but I don’t think he believes me.
I’m really triggered still. Obviously I’m a failure, I can’t have an eating disorder or anything. I drink calories. I can’t be ill doing that now can I?
I don’t want him to think my main issue is purging or that I’m bulimic. Not that there’s anything bad/wrong with that but I’m not, to call me bulimic would be an insult to bulimics who need help. I don’t purge that often, it isn’t my main issue, I b/p even less frequently. If I stopped purging and stopped binging I would still be hysterical over a sammich made of white bread, I’d still be terrified at a meal out, I’d still freak out when I ate more than 500 or so calories in a day, just I’d probably cut more. That’s what I need/want (half-heartedly) help with, it’s what my boyfriend wants me to get help with. If I could manage more food and bigger meals I probably wouldn’t need to b/p or purge in the first place.

I don’t know. He said he’ll refer me up to the eating disorder services and in the meantime I can have eight sessions with him and he wants to work on my self esteem. Which I think will help. I know Chris will be a lot happier if I like myself more, even if I’m still struggling foodwise I know he’ll like it more if I’m more confident with myself. Like wearing clothes that aren’t huge, and crying less over my appearance and actually getting naked without zoning out/being upset. After the 8 sessions though I guess it’ll be another x months of waiting, but maybe he will help me cope. I hope so.

Friday did not end well. My mum picked me up because my boyfriend wanted to come home to go to a friends birthday party so she picked him up from mine and drove us both back (why yes, I am rediculously spoilt and sheltered ). In the car on the way back he decided he was too tired to go, which was fair enough seeing as he’d only had four hours sleep or so in two days, but then my mum decided that we should go for a meal for my birthday (a week and a bit early). I didn’t want to, I said I didn’t want to, my sister decided because she was hungry we should go out and then when I said no that if we didn’t go out Friday we were going Saturday to which my mum agreed. I managed to get her to go home thinking I could eat and sleep and be okay, I was stupidly triggered and tired and hungry and upset and just wanted to have ham and sleep. Nope, my sister says “we’re going out aren’t we?” mum says yes and we have to go. Long story short(er) we went, I was very unhappy about the whole thing and nearly cried before we got there & when we were there. Being stupidly hungry I ate too much, started feeling bingey, thought I’d be able to purge, but Chris stayed and I couldn’t. I ended up sat in the toilet sobbing because all I wanted to do was uneat everything and I couldn’t. I think I scared Chris with that, he’s never seen me so upset over a meal. Crying a bit yes, but I was sobbing for a good thirty minutes. I think being so triggered in the first place didn’t help.

Today has been… blargh. I’ve felt fat and bloated and sick and disgusting all day. I was meant to go out shopping with my mum to get things for Chris for Valentines day (I’m ordering a year anniversary gift online, idk, too much?) and to get some things for me for my birthday but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to be seen out of the house and there was no point clothes shopping when I felt so fat and disgusting.”

copied and pasted from another blog, but my feelings all the same.

As a side note, my exams were meh. I don’t *think* I’ve failed but I highly doubt I’ve done anywhere near as well as I’d like to. But all I need is 40% to get onto next year and if I’ve done that I’ll be okay. I’ll be dissappointed and probably beat myself up over it but I won’t be as devastated as I would be if I failed. They’re over now and I have a few weeks until I need to start revising again, lectures restart next week. Labs I’m not exactly excited about, but some of the inorganic and physical chemistry should be interesting.

Katie x